Ups and downs

In terms of bodyweight, that is. Over the course of the last five days, I've fluctuated a LOT. I went down by more than four and a half pounds between yesterday morning and this morning, after having risen by noticeable amounts for three days. I'm still under 180, but it just goes to show how wide-ranging the changes can be. Apparently, it's recommended for men to weigh themselves once per week. I intend to keep weighing myself daily; it's hard to see how more information could be harmful.

My last swim, yesterday, was in the rain. Today, I biked to work without a rear fender (it broke), and took a long route home. The ride home was in the pouring rain and my hands were numb by the time I arrived. My new exercise shorts arrived (adonis from rawganique), and I wore one pair of them for the ride home. They seemed to work fine, even if they are a bit baggy. I'll wear them again when I run, and if they work out, I'll probably keep them. They're pure hemp, made in Romania, and my main gripe with them is that they're a rather fine mesh rather than a solid cloth. I rather doubt that I could wear them without an undergarment and maintain my modesty.

I find myself thinking more and more about measuring my life. Weather conditions and garments worn for each workout, specific fats and mixing methods used for keto chow, hydration, that sort of thing. After all, if you don't measure it, you can't improve it (or so they say).

Yesterday, I had an ~15 mile round trip on my bike to buy an electric kettle. I realized I have pretty much only been using my stove to boil water. I'm interested to see how well I can do with an electric kettle and a fridge as my only appliances. I tried mixing a butter-based keto chow using the kettle; I poured 14 ounces of boiling water into a bottle with half a stick of butter (straight from the freezer). It melted relatively quickly. I added a scoop of keto chow and shook it vigorously. Today, that bottle had a noticeable fatty deposit around the spout. So butter-based keto chow with the kettle is possible, but not ideal. I think I will use up my butter and heavy cream and transition to using only shelf-stable fats. The only things in my freezer besides butter are my microbe cultures, a container of homemade schmaltz, some gutted anchovies from the korean market, and a vanilla pod. My fridge contains only keto chow, water, a couple eggs, tonic water, yeast, and a few condiments. The yeast and condiments are reflections of how much I enjoy cooking.

My relationship with food has changed a lot over the last few months. It's become a split personality sort of thing. I enjoy cooking, very much, but not in a solitary context. I like cooking for friends and family, but food made and eaten alone seems to lack flavor. And thank to covid, there is little to be had in the way of social cooking. I prepare food now in an almost utilitarian fashion; it need only be palatable enough to consume. Eating (or, for keto chow, drinking) is more a function of necessity than enjoyment. It's neither enjoyable nor unpleasant, like brushing my teeth or bathing. It's not a chore, it's not a pastime or a hobby or a diversion. It's just something I need to do in order to function properly.

So now my kitchen is mostly empty cupboards and unused utensils. I make coffee and keto chow and sometimes a mug of bouillon. I'll probably cook the last few eggs and eat them just so they don't go to waste. I should cook them in the schmaltz. And then it's just a once-daily ritual of mixing powder, water, and fat.